Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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