I think scott just propositioned me for sex
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize