does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
