Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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