you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I did not marry a roomba.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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