when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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