dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
