Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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