From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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