i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
