This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Randomize
