We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
