if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
