I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
