Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
