We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
