Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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