Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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