her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
