Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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