Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
