yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
