im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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