so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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