hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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