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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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