No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
