you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
