i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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