Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
