Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
