Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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