I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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