hotel room ftw
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
