this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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