Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
