i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
