Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
