i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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