Just mADE A PArabola og urine
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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