jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
