I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
