Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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