It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Less talking, more tequila
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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