Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I would fuck him just for his dog
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
