Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
