I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
