1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
