ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
