Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
