I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
3 2 1 whiskey
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
