Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
