What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize
