Dual....:-)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize