The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
