Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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