So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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