Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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