Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
