Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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